Dress Size:18
Weight loss: 5.06kg
Doom Day: 712
I'm an idiot. I know thats not the best start but I am. I'm going to give you a break down of my week so that we can all reach the same conclusion.
This week I have been so well behaved that a treat is Salmon flakes-honestly. I have gymed it twice resulting in a dodgy calf muscle, arms that can barely be lifted and a back that doesn't want to bend conventionally (I am mastering the side bend pick-up). I met up with Lady L for a mid week catch up and avoided booze, cigarettes and crisps - a huge achievement for us. I'm hungry most of the time and have day dreams about burgers. So, as I said, I have been well behaved.
The past 12 hours are really when the stupidity came to light. Today was a snow day.
Now I genuinely love my job, but I think that when you take on the task of being a teacher you un-knowingly resort to teenage behaviour (remember the 'whateva' comment). So a snow day is like somebody giving me a limitless supply of chocolate and confirming that this will help me lose weight. You walk around town looking at the harassed workers, grinning at your own triumph. Its bloody brilliant (have i over emphasised this point?)
So, snow day. I couldn't get back to sleep so decided to take advantage of plenty time and an empty gym. So I got everything together and off I went.
I have begun to notice a little gym ritual starting to occur.
- Always go with an empty bottle of water. When your filling it at the fountain you can scan for empty machines.
- NEVER use locker 170. It doesn't have a hanger and you never lose weight when your in 170. Always use 169.
- If there is no-one about you can get dressed out of a cubicle. If there are people about in the cubicle. Don't want to put them off the rest of their day by exposing blubber body.
- Spend at least 5 minutes on the warm-up mats pretending you know what the correct stretches are for the work out (this could explain the aching limbs).
It also happened to be old lady day. I looked around and completed ritual 3. Too many old ladies so should dress in cubicle. Ruining someones day is not as bad as potentially giving someone a heart attack from the shock. I get myself all sorted and open the curtain. In front of my were 2 ladies (70+) completely naked. They both decided to have a naked lady discussion with their hands on their hips. I have never been so uncomfortable in all my life.
They even said hello...
So, I go up to the machine floor and do the water bottle ritual and the warm-up ritual (for some reason I decided that today I needed to put my leg up in the bar and stretch...don't ask me why).
For those of you who know me the following will come as no surprise.
I always want to go to the gym at this time. I'm skinny in this crowd. I run harder and faster in this crowd. I show off in this crowd. To be fair they do look like an advert for 'fat camp', but I felt great. I momentarily thought about changing my blog to 'average weight mountain'.
So I do the work out. 20 minutes on treadmill (14 running), 10 minutes on cross trainer (ouch) and finally a pathetic 5 minutes on the bike (I was literally dying). I am feeling so proud of myself and walk down to get changed and leave.
The most important ritual is weight before, weight after. Don't ask why but its another incentive. This is when I become an idiot. I start the workout on 14 stone 4. I jump on at the end and see 14 stone 8. I was ready to smash the place up (I'm not sure if I can pull off saying that but I'll try). I couldn't believe that I had been living on the diet of a budgie for weeks and had GAINED weight. I tried again...
14 stone 08.
What this tiny error has taught me is that I actually do care about this. I don't just want it to be a silly one time thing. I want to slowly and progressively lose weight. I just need to learn how to read the scales properly.
Feeling happy at the loss. It's small steps, but small steps in the right direction.
All i need now is a doughnut....
Another small step up blubber mountain.
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